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swedish death cleaning simply home downsizing

How Döstädning – a.k.a Swedish Death Cleaning – Can Work For You

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Having recently worked with clients who, due to a death of a parent, have had to deal with de-cluttering and organizing the family home, we know how stressful this process can be. Decisions such as: what to keep, what to let go of, who gets to decide, which items can be sold/donated/given to other family members all come into play. These tasks are challenging to complete at the best of times, so when emotions are running high and grieving may be taking place, these tasks can become completely overwhelming.

The good news is there is a solution and it comes from Sweden.

What is Swedish Death Cleaning?

Swedish Death Cleaning, or “Döstädning”, is a process whereby you remove unnecessary things and get your home in order BEFORE you die.

This may sound a bit morbid, but you do this so that your loved ones don’t have to once you pass on. You get to be the designer of your own legacy, making it easier for your loved ones to deal with your life’s belongings, when you no longer can. It’s a de-cluttering approach that asks you to make decisions about your belongings in the present, so that your loved ones don’t have to do it for you once you pass on.

According to Margareta Magnusson, author of The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, “you won’t be taking any of it with you, so why hold onto it now?”

Only Keep What You Love

Not unlike Marie Kondo and her KonMari method of editing every category in your home, Magnusson suggests we keep only what we love, and what makes us happy in the moment. She goes on to suggest many ways in which to discard, donate or pass on unwanted items to those who can benefit in the present. She is not a minimalist, and does suggest you carefully consider items such as photographs, love letters, and a few of your children’s art projects, a few being the key word here.

If you choose to keep what YOU feel is important, your loved ones will be relieved that you made the decision and now they don’t have to!

If anyone has dealt with the process of “cleaning house” after a loved one has passed on, you know that often many things are left behind. Things you do not always know what to do with. As organizers we often help family members make decisions about the best course of action. The less deciding there is to do, the smoother the process goes, and the easier it is to manage expectations and potential resentments.

Understandably, the concept of death cleaning may be hard for some of us to consider. Who wants to consider their death prematurely?

Magnusson has this to say on the topic. ”Death cleaning isn’t the story of death, but rather the story of life, YOUR life. You choose which memories to keep – expunging the bad ones in favour of keeping the happy ones which will become happy memories for others.

Döstädning principles can be applied whenever you do a thorough cleaning, to make your life easier and more pleasant. It does not necessarily have to do with age or death, although in recent years the practice has become more popular as many people recognize the burden of leaving behind a home full of items.

How We Can Help

Magnusson has one more suggestion. After each “death cleaning” episode, big or small, treat yourself to something you love, because this process is about living life with more ease in the present.

And if you need support, please reach out to us at Simply Home Downsizing, we are here to help!

~ The Simply Home Team

Heirloom Avalanche Simply Home Downsizing

Preparing for an “Heirloom Avalanche”

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What do families do when one generation wants to pass on their “valuable” family heirlooms to a younger generation, but there are no takers?

As someone in the “sandwich generation” (raising my own child while also caring for my aging parents), I think about the day when my parents (ages 77 and 84) will be moving out from their house of 50+ years. Their decision might be to downsize due to financial concerns, reduced mobility, increased health-care requirements, or social isolation.

Whatever the reason, there will be many decisions to make, including what to do with the many items accumulated over the years. Some will be easier to deal with than others  – furniture can be sold, clothing and household items can be donated, papers can be recycled, but what will my sister and I do with the items that my parents want to “keep in the family”, as family heirlooms, passed down from one generation to the next?

An Aging Population 

Statistics Canada reports that 1,000 Canadians will be turning 65 every day for the next 20 years, which means a significant increase in downsizing, and by extension, an increase in the desire to find new homes for heirloom treasures. The “heirloom avalanche” is happening and will only continue to grow as baby boomers age and try to purge and pass on their heirlooms to their children or someone else.

Learning to Say No  

I wonder how I can I say “no” to the china set? The brass collection? The end tables from Colombia? The crests from Hungary? Don’t get me wrong, my parents have great taste and there are several items I know my sister and I will enjoy keeping in our families (I do love the Colombian dish set and decorative brass wall plate!), but there is simply too much stuff for us to take. We don’t have room for it all – real estate in my house is valuable – and with more focus on decluttering, living with less, and choosing experiences over stuff, many “treasured heirlooms” that would have been passed down through the generations, may have reached the end of their life.

But how to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the items my parents feel are special and valuable, and want to pass down, without hurting their feelings?

How to Prepare

What can families do to prepare for a possible “Heirloom Avalanche”?

  • Protect your relationships. Be honest and open about the process and discuss how you will proceed as a family.
  • Sort through family items together, reminiscing and reflecting on their meaning along the way. Often taking the time to do this eases the process of letting family heirlooms go.
  • Donate special items to charities and organizations you and your family feel strongly about.
  • Sell your special items in an auction, consignment shop or online (i.e. Kijiji, Facebook Buy & Sell groups).
  • Hire someone to coordinate a contents sale, either online (i.e. Maxsold) or onsite. The cost is usually based on a commission split of items sold.
  • Book an antique dealer or appraiser to visit your house, look at your treasures and make you an offer.
  • Hold a garage sale, which is a good way to connect with neighbours and locals, but not always the best way to make money. Successful garage sales require time and energy, not to mention good weather!

How We Can Help

When dealing with family heirlooms, the key is to take it step by step to determine what works best for these special items. Letting go of items that no longer fit your lifestyle, at any age, is a challenge. As professional organizers, we can help support your process, avoiding the stress of an heirloom avalanche down the road.

Whether you need to organize your own space, help a loved one move into a smaller home, or manage an estate clearing, our team of experienced professionals will guide you carefully and comfortably to your desired result. Contact us today  to learn more about our services.

Until Next Time,

~ The Simply Home Downsizing Team

essentialism simply home toronto downsizing

More Clarity, Less Clutter Through Essentialism

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Do you ever feel the relentless pressure to do, and have, it all? Or feel overwhelmed by the prospect of de-cluttering and pairing down what you own? Do you find it hard to keep your momentum going once you start?

If you are committed to de-cluttering your belongings, streamlining your space, and letting go of the things you no longer need, these feeling are natural. To combat what I deem progress inhibitors, you may want to consider the way of the Essentialist.

Based on ideas of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown and my own personal experiences as an organizer, the philosophy of “less, but better” truly can help. It allows us gain more clarity, control and joy throughout the process of streamlining our space, belongings, and life.

So, what is Essentialism? According to McKeown, it’s the “systematic discipline of exploring what is absolutely essential, eliminating everything else, and executing a clear plan towards success.”

Why choose essentialism?

By doing so, we can actively choose to live by design; rather than by default, and reclaim control over our choices. Sounds like a great approach. But as we know, it’s not always easy to implement good ideas. Realistic goals must be set, decisions must be made, and courage is required.

McKeown teaches that the essentialist uses a disciplined 3-step approach to evaluate the use of any given thing in your life. Using a closet bursting at the seams with clothes, accessories and more (feel free to substitute any other cluttered space you might have!), below is an example of how to tackle the de-cluttering of that closet using this approach.

Step 1: Explore and Evaluate

Start with your end goal in mind. Ask yourself: How do I want to feel when I open my closet? What items need to be easily accessible? How do I deal with things I no longer need or use? How much time and effort should/can I put into this process? What will be my biggest challenge in all of this?

Step 2: Eliminate

Actively sort clothes & accessories into keep, donate and undecided piles. For the undecided pile, pick up each item and ask, “Would I buy this item at full price if I didn’t already have it?” “Does this item bring me joy?” (Thanks Marie Kondo for popularizing this phrase!) And “Is this representative of me at this time in my life?”

Step 3: Execute

Systematize your actions to stay sorted, tidy and organized. Maybe it’s a one item in, one item out policy, or a monthly purge or seasonal edit – do whatever works for you. Keeping a reusable bag close by for unused items and making sure you know where and when to drop off/donate these things, helps. Removing obstacles (i.e.: not enough time, competing interests, lack of initiative, feeling overwhelmed) and celebrating small wins (i.e.: “I donated two bags to a women’s shelter”) are keys to staying motivated and committed to the process.

This 3-step Essentialist approach takes focus, commitment and stamina to be carried out successfully. Knowing what activities and efforts are needed to keep progressing is key. It ensures that there will be fewer roadblocks in the way.

“It’s like dislodging a boulder at the top of a hill – all it takes is a small shove and then momentum naturally builds,” says McKeown.

Keep At It!

Sometimes we get off to a great start, but then become stuck in indecision. It usually sounds something like this: “I may need this in the future,” “My grandmother gave this to me,” or “My kids might want this.” What to do then?

Try the 90 percent rule. When making decisions, think about the single most important criterion for that decision and give it a score between 0 – 100. If you rate it below 90, it automatically becomes a 0 and you reject it – no more should I or shouldn’t I with something that rates 65%! So, if wearability is your most important criterion, pick up the item, score it out of 100. If it scores above 90, keep it, if below 90, time to let it go.

Although our lives aren’t static like the clothes in our closet, we can use the same Essentialist approach of exploring & evaluating options, eliminating the unnecessary, and executing the plan when it comes to making life decisions. Only we know what is essential in our lives, and hopefully an essentialist approach can help us achieve more clarity and joy, with less stress and clutter. In order to live to our highest potential. Remember, less but better.

Whether you need to organize your own space, help a loved one move into a smaller home, or manage an estate clearing, our team of experienced professionals will guide you carefully and comfortably to your desired result. Contact us today to learn more about our services.

~ The Simply Home Team